Ridiculously Rewriting A Ridiculous AU
by kinzies
Summary: It should be impossible to go to sleep in your bed in Japan and suddenly wake up in London, shouldn't it? Just as before, not nearly as ridiculous as it sounds. No pairings.


((But first! A disclaimer! I own neither Detective Conan or SHERLOCK. I just wanted to try my hand at a crossover. And So we begin the rewrite. Good news though, as I've taken it on as my NaNo project you should be getting updates quite frequently! c: ))

Shinichi felt a terrible pounding in his head not too unlike when he had first come to after shrinking. He kept his eyes closed and laid still for a minute and tried to gather his thoughts and piece together what had happened as he had no recollection of ever passing out. There wasn't a funny taste in his mouth and his head, while throbbing, didn't feel fuzzy so chloroform hadn't been involved. His hands and feet weren't bound but there was a rather heavy weight pinning him down and preventing him from sitting up-this weight felt like… a person?

He opened his eyes and propped himself up before recognizing the familiar outline of his Osakan friend and rival. He let out a particularly annoyed sigh and gave him a nice hard shove to get him to roll off of him. "Wake up." He hissed at the tanned teenager, using some effort to free himself from the heavy weight now pinning his legs.

"Five… min… 'Zuha…" the Osakan mumbled without ever opening his eyes. Shinichi only rolled his eyes and at last managed to free his legs. The problem of being pinned resolved, he wasted no time before kicking the other in the ribs with both his feet-the effect was immediate.

"Ow!" Hattori let out angrily before sitting up and twisting angrily to see who had kicked him. He paused when he was met with the sight of a half-amused child with over sized glasses and a red bowtie whom he knew to be the missing famed high school detective of the East. "What'd ya kick me for, ahou!?" He demanded angrily, none too happy with the smaller detective.

"You weren't waking up when I told you too." Shinichi shrugged nonchalantly before getting up and dusting himself off.

"So ya go an' jab yer feet inta my sides!?"

"Never mind that." The smaller said dismissively, clearly not concerned about any bruises he may have caused. He vaguely hears the Osakan droning on about something in the background but Shinichi's full attention is now on their rather odd predicament and the curious condition their kidnapper (if there was one) had left them in. Unbound, clear access to a window, door slightly ajar-just what was going on here? Leaving the great detective of the west to continue his ranting, the smaller moved over to the door and gave it a gently poke, watching as it creaked open. There was nothing fantastic on the other side, just an western style stairwell, to his left the stairs went down and to his right they went up.

"Hattori." He hissed back at the Osakan now starting to catch up. Heiji took one good look at the room they'd both awoken in and moved over to the window to shove it open and looked down just in time to see a car making a left onto the a road before closing it back up again to keep the draft of the cold evening air out. Not that it did much as their was clearly no heating in the house. The sunset was another thing that unnerved the shrunken detective-he distinctly remembered going to bed at around ten as per usual on a slow day and read a book until he fell asleep-probably at sometime past midnight. He was still in his pajamas and the book he'd been reading (_Sherlock Holmes;_ _A Study in Scarlet_) lay on the floor where he'd woken up. If it had been after midnight when he fell asleep and it was dusk now, just how long had they been asleep? Well over fourteen hours at a guess.

"...Odd their lettin' us roam aroun' " Hattori stated, hovering by the door as the smaller tried to figure out what they should do-fight or flight?

"...You go downstairs, I'll check upstairs." He finally voiced as he had already started his ascent up the wooden steps. Hattori tried protesting the arrangement as still being in his pajamas meant that Kudou was sorely lacking any means of self defense if he happened to run into someone. But he knew the smaller boy would never listen and only sighed as he started to search the floor he was on before starting downstairs.

Shinichi didn't find anything at first, he poked all the door he came in contact with as he climbed to the top level but so far the rooms were mostly empty-it seemed that a family had once lived in this house ten or so year ago and ran into some kind of problem as they left in a hurry without even bothering to sell the property. They'd also left behind impatient scratches on the wooden floor-punctures in the walls and an occasional piece of furniture. Finally he reached the top level and just as he had with all the other doors waited to see if something living was on the other side before poking the door open.

The first thing he noticed was pink-A bright flamboyant pink that nearly hurt his eyes, the next thing that registered was the woman lying face down on the ground. His feet carried him automatically to her side and shoved some of her slightly damp hair out of the way so he could check for a pulse. Her skin was still slightly warm but the lack of breath or pulse were clear indicators that he'd been a minute too late. The woman was dead.

"Oi! Hatt-!" He started to call over his but soon stopped as something had caught his attention. The third thing he noticed was the word ' E' etched into the wooden floor. He felt a slight rise in his chest like a quickly inflating balloon but it popped the instant he caught sight of not fully carved 'E' and concluded that the had not been able to finish what she had intended to write. It was only a coincidence that all she'd managed was the word rache.

Slightly put out, he began inspecting the dead woman-concluding quickly that she'd been poisoned-likely with a nerve poison or something to induce affixation. He started to reach to run a hand over the woman's coat but thankfully remembered that he shouldn't contaminate the scene anymore than he already had. Had he had been in his regular day clothes he'd have had a handkerchief that would have at least allowed him to investigate a little more thoroughly. He has settle for what he can deduce from sight only and stands again, moving back out the door he'd come in.

"There ya are Kudou, I thought I heard ya-what's up?" Hattori had finally made it to the top of stairs but wound up following Kudou back down.

"There's a dead woman in there." He finally revealed.

"What?" Heiji's eyes shot right back upstairs, wondering why the other wasn't hovering as close as possible to the body and looking for clues, but of course, Kudou had probably already done that.

"I've gathered all I can without touching her-we need to call the police and then I want to know what you found." The miniature detective stated in a very business like tone of voice, it might have sounded odd to anyone else but it was a tone Hattori Heiji was quite accustomed too-if there was one thing he'd learned from working with the great detective of the east-it was that he liked to run the show and he tended to get upset should anyone try and relinquish that control from him. It was better to just do what Kudou asked-it saved both them an potentially heated argument.

"We're gonna have t' find someone t' loan us their phone though seein' as we seem to have left those back yer place." The more easy going detective stated as they quickly reached the ground floor. Conan pulled the front door open and froze, blinking curiously at the sight before him-they weren't in Tokyo. They weren't even in Japan. It had to be an English speaking country as the signs across the way bore English names and absolutely no trace of any other languages. He looked up at the street signs and felt his breath catch as he stared up at the words 'Lauraston Gardens.'

It didn't take Heiji long to notice his friend someone managed to encounter an brain overload and stopped to watch Shinichi stare blankly at something just above his head and perhaps a few feet off. Raising and eyebrow at the odd display of behavior, Hattori turned to see what had shocked the other into silence-only to be shocked into a momentary silence himself.

"...It's a Joke, right?" He asked, not daring to take his eyes off the sign. "It... it has to be."

Shinichi's mind slowly started to unfreeze and as soon as he was able too, he spun around, allowing his feet to propel him back to the house they'd both just left to locate the house number. Three. House three at Lauraston Gardens off of Brixton Road. But it couldn't be because the only place such a house existed was-was... "Call the police and meet me down here in three minutes." He shouted back to his friend before dashing back inside the house and racing up the stairs to the room he'd woken up in. He snatched up the book he'd left lying on the floor and flipped to the appropriate page. His eyes scanning the material as quickly as possible, catching onto the part he'd been in search of in a matter of seconds.

"Police are on their way." Hattori informed as Kudou stepped out of the building with his nose buried deep in his book. "Ya know, I didn't think much of it, but I did see a car turn on the main road over that way." He jerked his thumb. "How long would ya say she's been dead for."

"She was still warm when I found her-though she didn't have a pulse. Nerve poison, probably. But Hattori-she wrote the word 'Rache." Shinichi stated, sounding a bit unsure of the words leaving his mouth. "She died while carving the into the wood so it's highly likely she only meant to spell out Rachel." He added quickly so that Hattori couldn't accuse him of thinking illogically-but still, Lauraston Gardens... "We need to go."

"What?" Heiji was sure he'd heard wrong, surely Kudou wasn't suggesting they leave the rest to the police-neither he nor his shrunken counterpart had much faith in their own police districts so surely he didn't have any high hopes for someone else's.

"We need to go." Kudou repeated. "Look, neither one of us has the necessary documentation to be in London right now, and we're both in our pajamas with no idea how we got here-the police are not people we should deal with right now." Heiji couldn't argue that the other had some compelling points and sighed as he followed the other behind the row of houses.

"So, how do ya know we're really in London?" Hattori had to ask but quickly caught sight of the silhouette of the London Eye. "Oh. So now where to? Baker Street?" he joked.

"Aa." Shinichi answered automatically, clearly unaware it was only meant as a joke. Or maybe he did know and just wanted to put this stupid impossible theory buzzing around in his head to bed.

"We'd better find decent clothes first." Heiji pointed out. They'd stick out like a sore thumb if they tried to blend into a crowd on the main road-not too many people wore pajamas and no shoes while out walking.

"With what money?" Shinichi quickly countered. "My wallet's back at the agency, and I'm willing to bet yours is too, I doubt it'd be a comfortable thing to sleep on." The reality of the situation hit them both full force-they were stranded. Neither one had a passport, any kind of valid ID or any money with which to buy at least a decent pair of shoes with.

"...Actually Kudou, I think it might be best if we did go to the police about this." Heiji finally voiced. "I'm sure there are extenuating circumstances."

"Extenuating circumstances?" Shinichi raised an eyebrow. "You want to go to the police and say that we have no idea how we got here but we don't have a passport or money-that isn't going to go over well. Especially with our fingerprints now at the crime scene."

"...I know you're irritated Kudou, but if we tell'm the truth then-"

"Then what?" Shinichi snapped. "They find out Edogawa Conan doesn't exist? That I'm actually Missing Japanese High School Detective Kudou Shinichi?" Heiji stopped walking and just looked down as the shrunken detective continued on. He'd forgotten all about the alias Kudou insisted on giving others. He was too paranoid to tell the police. Too paranoid to risk his secret being exposed. Suddenly he realized why the younger wanted to head to Baker Street. To calm down. Being around the books seemed to always have a calming effect on the boy-almost like a security blanket. Though what he didn't know, was that he was wrong about Shinichi's reasoning.

"...Okay Kudou, you win. But Don't ya think th' Holmes museum'll be closed at this time?" Truthfully, neither had any idea of the actual time-both of them guessed somewhere after seven since the sun had only recently set. Shinichi stopped abruptly and looked back the way they had come and then back to the ally.

"...You said you saw a car pull away just as you were looking out the window." He glanced down the dark road. "That woman had to have died just as we were waking up but she had to have etched the word 'Rache' into the floor after her killer left her there otherwise he'd probably try to stop her from writing a dying message..."

"Ya think that car had the murderer in it?" He didn't even bother to question the abrupt change of subject and fell right along side Kudou's train of thought. "I didn't get t' actually see the body-did you notice anything about her?"

"...She was missing something." Shinichi said slowly, as though mentally verifying it. "I think it was a suitcase-there was a definite splash pattern on her ankle and I don't think it's rained here recently-where ever she had come from, it had rained."

"...You want to go back to the crime scene?" Hattori already knew the answer and scooped the smaller up before he could insist on changing his mind. Again.


End file.
